i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
