miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
