i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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