Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
