Don't you send me to vm
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
