i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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