The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
