Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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