ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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