first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
