You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i now understand why vodka
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
