I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
