Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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