my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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