this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
