We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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