I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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