I think im going to throw up on grandma
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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