And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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