Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.

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(360): i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now. http://tfl.nu/qgk0

Replies (6) Good night (2487) Bad night (621)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9

Replies (45) Good night (4119) Bad night (1059)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k

Replies (5) Good night (4688) Bad night (743)
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(623): View more from Arizona

were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

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(623): were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds. http://tfl.nu/6mgz

Replies (41) Good night (4278) Bad night (783)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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(706): I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it. http://tfl.nu/ce8t

Replies (14) Good night (1107) Bad night (4733)
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(206): View more from Washington

I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

(1-206): View more from Washington

You are nothing if not reliable.

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(206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj

Replies (11) Good night (5181) Bad night (1715)
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(512): View more from Texas

want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.

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(512): want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase. http://tfl.nu/ejib

Replies (4) Good night (1376) Bad night (2009)
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(480): View more from Arizona

got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University

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(480): got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University http://tfl.nu/6mss

Replies (8) Good night (1707) Bad night (511)
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(313): View more from Michigan

its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.

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(313): its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom. http://tfl.nu/3nbn

Replies (10) Good night (961) Bad night (1305)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

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(773): i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations." http://tfl.nu/7d4e

Replies (7) Good night (610) Bad night (1010)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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(503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc

Replies (6) Good night (1513) Bad night (420)
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(805): View more from California

the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick

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(805): the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick http://tfl.nu/e696

Replies (6) Good night (788) Bad night (377)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.

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(775): Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital. http://tfl.nu/63us

Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (292)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.

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(773): I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/k0oq

Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (463)
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(917): View more from New York City

At a point I was just cumming dust last night

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(917): At a point I was just cumming dust last night http://tfl.nu/fyiy

Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (232)

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