ADVERTISEMENT

• (207): View more from Maine

  I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

  Fav 15 7105 1000

  share tweet
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  How was last night?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

  Fav 2 798 2434

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you

  Fav 12 5639 1327

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

  Fav 3 996 3209

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

  Fav 8 5940 1162

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

  Fav 6 2877 1075

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

  Fav 6 6149 1068

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

  Fav 2 827 1197

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in

  Fav 3 1358 917

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

  Fav 8 2184 1002

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

  Fav 4 1079 620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.

  Fav 3 1153 562

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...

  Fav 0 638 455

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.

  Fav 0 338 150

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.

  Fav 0 143 77

  share tweet
  

Randomize