I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
