Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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  (313): We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure. http://tfl.nu/sjew
  Replies (0) Good night (1018) Bad night (709)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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  (443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd
  Replies (35) Good night (4686) Bad night (646)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2588) Bad night (14978)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight

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  (201): if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight http://tfl.nu/z6vl
  Replies (22) Good night (4317) Bad night (1490)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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  (253): I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end. http://tfl.nu/6ben
  Replies (9) Good night (3278) Bad night (868)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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  (714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx
  Replies (6) Good night (963) Bad night (2558)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (1203)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1716) Bad night (575)
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  (420): View more from

  Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.

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  (420): Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals. http://tfl.nu/6422
  Replies (9) Good night (1205) Bad night (378)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (1340)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people

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  (610): At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people http://tfl.nu/kwkh
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (661)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.

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  (713): I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it. http://tfl.nu/p4p1
  Replies (9) Good night (1360) Bad night (410)
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  (949): View more from California

  Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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  (949): Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults. http://tfl.nu/b902
  Replies (0) Good night (675) Bad night (216)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.

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  (786): I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun. http://tfl.nu/ptqr
  Replies (0) Good night (321) Bad night (170)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.

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  (337): If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto. http://tfl.nu/lfjp
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (173)

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