i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
