Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
