chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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