we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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