1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
