He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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