just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
