never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
