question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
