My sheets look like a crime scene.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
