My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize