maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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