I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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