haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Im part way to drunk.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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