your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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