life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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