She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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