I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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