Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
