haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize