people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
