he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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