let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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