Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
