Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
