if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
