i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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