i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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