this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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