Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize