oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
