Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
