okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just invented taco cereal.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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