You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize