At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
