I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
