I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
