She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
