Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
