i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
