I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
