I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
