So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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