this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
