New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
