the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
