she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
