Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize