Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
