My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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