There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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